Dear Rich,
Thank you for today.
Only, you’ve indirectly given me a day off for writing, something, like all budding writers, I’ve been meaning to do for a while.
This great luck all started after I hilariously shouted, “Rich is gay” as we were leaving the bar last night. I then preceded to proudly skip down the steps back to my office feeling all bubbly and warm. Spurred on with a few beers inside me, the good conversation and finally the pure genius of my clever parting quip, loudly hollared at the back of your head from a distance.
Bouncing down the wet steps I decided to cement my celebration of comedy with a final mini-jump off the final step. This was the kind of springing manouver that only an office worker would be proud of. Not too high or aggressive, clearly something which could cull an office person’s prized and un-extrovert standing. However, just enough ‘boing’ to push the ‘1984 like induced calm’ and prove to any lady colleuges who were bored with Facebook stalking, that I’m a man who can handle mild peril down the steps.
Grrrrrr Dan, you’re an animal.
It was at that moment that my REAL luck started. Because midway there was a realisation that my life’s time and energy could be better spent in the glittzy world of cable television. Specifically an audition for the Nhs superhero advert. The one where a sozzled man climbs up 100metres of scaffolding to retrive a wench’s hen-do balloon. Because, like me, only then do we realise our biology lessons were true, and drink does make you drunk.
Wallop.
Like the man on tv, I came crashing down. Swearing for a split second as I land, to notice an indescrepency in my feet. Still upright, I can clearly see the sole of my right shoe, yet my left shoe looks like its firmly on the ground, laces up! Incredeeeeadable, surely that means my right foot is upside down….
So Rich, like I say, thank-you for today. You’ve given me some time to relax and write. Maybe I’ll should work on my ‘parting quips list’. With some better comedy to draw on, I would feel less of a fool the next time I leave the bar and ruin my ankle then end up sitting in Southmead A&E waiting for xrays on a rapidly ballooning ankle.
Thanks,
Dan.
Written from Southmead Hospital, waiting room. ‘Sitting’ in line on my iphone and waiting for some crutches.
This post is tagged Day off, off topic, Rich, Southmead hospital, Writing